Forgive Yourself: A Power of Respect Skill
What does forgiveness mean and how do I forgive myself for harming my child? I think I know how to forgive myself. I think I have forgiven myself, but every time I think of certain situations, I feel like crying. I feel like I deserve to suffer for having caused suffering.
I know and understand and believe that everyone does the best they can ‘given the circumstances (their abilities, understanding…)’. Why does that not include me?
These are things that happened many years ago. Many, many good, loving actions happened since any of these…so what’s my problem?
I just looked up forgiveness and pardon. They are connected with no longer feeling anger and no longer feeling the need to punish someone. So, if I have forgiven myself, why do I feel pain when these thoughts come to my mind?
Maybe pain will always be associated with these memories, and my work now is to focus on thoughts that bring me joy. Sure, I have done things that caused my beloved children to suffer. Hopefully I never again do such things, but now, in order to ensure that I don’t, I need to think and do what makes me feel joy.
So what role does forgiveness play? Forgiving myself? At the moment I am thinking: forgiveness allows me to recognize that I have caused suffering even though I was doing the best that I could; learn from this so that I do not repeat this; let thoughts of this go; focus only on what brings me joy.
Forgiveness allows me to stop being angry with myself and stop punishing myself and to get on with feeling joy, happiness, peace, love, excitement, harmony, bliss.
This is good enough for me for now.
kvryce